TEDx coach Karen Laos breaks down the pause, the pitch, and the 60-second rule that keeps a room listening.
GROWTH PILLAR: Leadership & Ops
WHO THIS IS FOR: SMB owners / Solopreneurs / Corporate escapees / Leaders building systems
WHAT THEY'LL GAIN: Actionable insights, hard-won lessons, real growth strategies
Karen Laos helps leaders stop freezing up and start speaking with real confidence ~ in meetings, on stage, and in tough asks.
Karen Laos is a keynote speaker, executive advisor, and TEDx coach who has spent 25+ years helping leaders ~ especially women ~ stop shrinking and start speaking with real clarity. She's worked with NASA, Google, Starbucks, and Hilton, and created a method called the Confidence Cocktail for turning self-doubt into confident communication. In this conversation she covers business communication skills, from reading the room through body language to the power of the pause when you're put on the spot. She breaks down active listening, how long a story should run before you lose people, and how to ask for what you're worth without sounding like you're begging. She's also the author of Trust Your Own Voice. This one's for solopreneurs, leaders, and anyone who wants sharper audience engagement before a big ask or a big stage.
Key topics: the 30–60 second story rule, reading a room through body language, the power of the pause, asking for a raise without begging, the 2026 elevator pitch.
Connect with Karen: Website · LinkedIn · Instagram · YouTube
Grab Karen's free guide, 3 Strategies to Speak Up at Meetings
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Bernie (00:24)
Question the audience.
What's it costing you every time you stay quiet and don't ask? Most of us were never taught how to ask for what we want. We hesitate, we wait for the right moment, and the moment passes. Today's today's guest has spent 25 years helping people stop leaving opportunity on the table. And let's get to it.
Karen Laos is a keynote speaker, executive advisor, and TEDx coach based out of the US. She spent more than 25 years helping leaders, especially women, stop shrinking and start speaking with the kind of clarity that actually moves rooms. Her work has landed inside organizations like NASA, Google, Starbucks, and Hilton. She's the creator of the confidence cocktail.
A proven method that takes self doubt off the table and puts confident communication in its place. She's also the author of Trust Your Own Voice, a practical playbook for anyone ready to speak up, ask for more, and lead out loud. You can find Karen at Karen Laos dot com and that's spelt K R E N and then L A O S then dot com.
On Instagram she's at Karen Laos Official. Karen, really we both have sunny days in our in our backgrounds. And it's really awesome to see a smiling soul and welcome. And how are you?
Karen (01:40)
Thank
you. I'm doing great.
Bernie (01:42)
Do you have a favorite quote or saying?
Karen (01:44)
my goodness. My favorite quote is every wall is a door.
And in spite of that being my favorite quote, I am forgetting who in the moment I'm forgetting who actually said it. But what I love about that quote is that it invites opportunity. To me, that a lot of times we look at things like a closed door or a wall as if it's unable to be opened. But a lot of times we don't push it and realize that there could actually be opportunity on the other side.
Bernie (02:12)
So your obsession with communication and confidence, what ignited that for you?
Karen (02:16)
Well, that takes me back. When I was six years old, my dad used to take me to flea markets. Yeah, way back. And it was so fun because the first time he did this, I was a little nervous, but he just gave me a few dollars and he said, Go have fun, but never pay full price. And so here I am walking through this flea market and negotiating, not realizing that that had been an option before. So I would say.
The obsession started with recognizing, if you ask, you can often get. And he continued to enforce that throughout my childhood. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. You don't have if you don't ask. The answer will always be no if you don't ask. So a lot of that has been really fun for me.
But I really love making deals with people. And I I I think I love it because it's creative as well, or it can be, where how do you make something a win-win for both parties? Because that's really how I look at it.
Bernie (03:15)
So the I think there's another element to the whole pr process, when you're gonna ask something, or you're on stage, like if you're doing a TEDx talk, you can't come across like a wall floor, if I'm not mistaken. you might not get to the TEDx stage by that point in time. Right. How you come across what's all involved in that? What does that mean?
Karen (03:33)
It's all about how people experience you. So a lot of times we don't think about this very often. And frankly, I didn't think about it very often. But I will tell you when I was even a kid in high school, I remember that people would tell me they felt comfortable around me. And I thought that was nice, but I never thought about it as a business asset until later in life because people continued to say that. And I thought, okay, there's something that I'm doing.
That is causing people to feel comfortable. So what is that? And this is what I find fascinating is that every one of us creates an experience for others when we walk into a room or when we get on the phone or when we're in a Zoom room, but we often don't think about it. So for example, sometimes people are misrepresenting their brilliance simply by their facial expression. So maybe they come into a room with a serious face, maybe they're nervous, or maybe they're thinking about what they want to say.
But they look unapproachable and unfriendly. And this is this reminds me of one of the people that went through a training that I did many years ago, who was a wonderful gentleman, but I didn't have that experience when I first met him. When I shook his hand, he was very serious in his facial expression. And I remember actually thinking, this guy's gonna be a tough one. And yet he was an awesome person. He was funny, he was engaging.
But that was the first impression. And so in that particular class, we would record people and then we'd watch it back on video. And he watched his video and he said, I look so rude and unapproachable. And I said, Yeah, I actually thought that of you. No, I wouldn't have said that if he hadn't seen it himself first. But that to me is an example of are you making the impact?
simply through your body language, your voice, your facial expression that you want to make.
Bernie (05:23)
You find that you you see it in the theater, especially if you go to a live theater, but in in movies, when someone is playing a role, they dress for that. is that part of the delivery then? It's like your stage presence is your face, your outer appearance.
Karen (05:37)
absolutely, whatever makes you feel more confident. So it doesn't really matter. Well, it might matter what you wear based on where you are. And clothing is always important. But really being mindful of the situation you're in. You know, that's old saying of dress for the job you want, not the job you have. I do think that clothing does make a difference. While I don't specialize in
clothing and design and that kind of thing, I do recognize how much of a difference it does make for people. And as a matter of fact, somebody, somebody the other day, a potential client said, well, if I do your program, what what should I wear? And or and I, or it was just interesting. Or she said, what should I do to prepare? That's what it was. And I said, well, I will tell you this. You will be recorded a number of times. And so what I have learned is that people
want to dress in what they feel most confident in. So come with that.
Bernie (06:33)
You know, hosting different meetings in different different areas, I come across people they're confident, they're dressed well, but the story just keeps going. And and it there's n unless of course you're having a Robin Williams session, right? Where it's like, Holy liftin, where'd that come from? The story gets
How long should a story be before someone goes, Hm, I should I should, you know, yield the floor back to the to the to the host?
Karen (06:59)
30 to 60 seconds is a good rule of thumb. Most of us are unaware of how long we've been talking. This is why recording yourself is so powerful. Now, one other thing I would add is that it could go a little longer if your story's interesting. But usually if people have to wait a full minute before they know why something is relevant for them, they're probably going to tune out. So when we're telling a story, we have to make sure if it's a personal story, we need to very quickly.
Turn it around to why this matters to the audience. So it could even be a more canned statement of something like the reason I'm telling you this is because of this. Or here's why this matters to you. Or as you're listening to me tell about my story, listen for where you see yourself in it. Those kinds of phrases can be helpful until we get more sophisticated in our storytelling and get used to and aware of the time.
Bernie (07:52)
Does that really well right now? That you g right off the top of your head, if you look out and whether it's an actor, a comedian, or a s someone on stage doing doing a a talk, does that really well right now? That'd be a good example.
Karen (08:04)
Yeah, for sure. Well, it it was in the past. Steve Jobs was excellent at this. I would say current Renee Brown is an excellent storyteller. And she will self-disclose, she's always thought of herself as a researcher, not a storyteller. And it's fascinating how she tells stories from her data. So she got that feedback and then she realized, okay, yes, we we need to be telling the story. And that is somebody that I would listen to for that.
Good example.
Bernie (08:33)
So if you're engaging somebody and you're having a conversation, sometimes there can be a almost an excitement, an energy that picks up perhaps you have a really good topic and the person starts injecting into the conversation before you have that 30-second or 60-second window done. How do you manage that so that you're not coming across because you know it it the moment's positive, but it's it's it's getting jarred. In other words, you you almost think you have a cycle, you're trying to deliver and it's like
I can't get to the end. How do you handle that?
Karen (09:02)
Yes, I was gonna say we could we could practice it right now if you would like. But what my the technique is t called an empathy bridge or acknowledgement bridge. So for example, let's say you were interrupting me in the middle of something. I would look for ideally something to acknowledge you for of or even it could be as simple as I'm I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say, Bernie. Let me finish what I'm gonna say. Or I've got that.
It depends on the audience. That's also really important. Cause even as I heard those words coming out of my mouth, for somebody I don't know, that might sound a little abrupt. So it might be so there's a couple things to consider. There's the behavioral component of how your delivery is, and then there's the actual content of what you're saying. So if it is in person or on Zoom where you can see each other, then I would make sure that you remember to have a lightness to your expression.
Because usually when you're interrupted, you might be annoyed or frustrated or taken aback. And then your face looks like that. So it doesn't bode well for influence to the other party. But if you remember that lightness and then say something to the effect of emp empathizing or acknowledging what they said. So it might be, that's a great idea, Bernie. I'd love to hear more of that in a moment. I'm almost finished, and then I'll turn it over to you. So
A big part of this is really facilitating conversation and having command and control over the way you're speaking, but also in a friendly way so that you balance that assertiveness and the warmth.
Bernie (10:36)
If you're engaging a a a group of people where you you're gonna audience dialogue is gonna be part of the process. Like, you know, and I I've seen people use that before. So you know what was it? If the sermon's too long, you know, if everybody fades into it fades into somewhere else, especially after lunch. Yeah. So you y you start having people, you start engaging them in conversation. it's so it's a bit more free flow.
that requires to be able to think on your feet because you might be getting an answer you did not expect. Not that it's going to be embarrassing, but it might be like, that's left field, and how do how do you manage that?
Karen (11:09)
That, first of all, is the power of the pause. I would start with that and recognize that a one to two second pause may feel when you're speaking like a lifetime, but to the audience, it's really nothing. And that one to two seconds is usually enough for us to gather our thoughts and be able to say something coherent. And even if we end up speaking, you can always come around to it. Sometimes we're afraid because we want to say the
Perfect thing right out of the gates. But sometimes it can be you just start and then bring it back. But a way to anchor whatever you're saying is bringing it back to your point of view. Whatever the point of what you were saying is, bring it back to that. Or, you know, it could be, you know, whatever answer you have, and then bring it back to this is why it's so important to XYZ or whatever the thing is you're trying to say.
Bernie (12:01)
I've I've noticed in the past y you see this in in politics and you know it doesn't matter where you are in the universe. the sometimes the the reporter will ask the person a question, even if it is a baited question. And the person if they're if they're skilled at it, they'll start answering it and then i it'll go from targeted where where the question was and it'll go somewhere totally else.
Is that a good way to manage a conversation where you know the person is trying to trip up the conversation or get you know, get that little bit of hot coal on the hand? You know, d yeah in other words Yeah stick handling it, yeah.
Karen (12:38)
Yeah, I would say yes and no. What I I would say I would have said yes and no if you hadn't added that last part because sometimes people are unintentionally difficult. Maybe they are hyper inquisitive and then they just keep asking questions. They might even be a hostile questioner where they are. And then that case there's no agenda that you can win over because it's always going to be theirs.
But in general, it's I here's what I wouldn't recommend. I wouldn't recommend a complete dismiss of the question. So you want to acknowledge it with something, but then this most skilled speakers then bring it back to using that as a or using the point of view as an anchor to bring all questions back to. You of course don't want to sound like a parrot that you keep saying the same thing, but
Especially if it's somebody challenging. And this is another tip I would offer if you're in person, you want to make sure that you don't get hijacked by that person such that you are then looking at them the whole time. Because I see this a lot where somebody asks a question in the audience, even if it's not a difficult or a hostile audience member, we want to make sure as the presenter to answer to the entire room. So you want to look for three to five seconds per person anyway when you are.
look in a room speaking to even more than one person. And then you look at that person for three to five seconds and move to someone else in the crowd because you want to assume that everybody there wants to hear the answer. But I've seen too many speakers or presenters get hijacked by that person just because of eye contact. And then when the speaker is looking at the person who asked the question, they might be more apt to ask a follow-up question and then another follow-up question.
In fact, I saw a poor guy presenting a financial seminar and the woman in the front row kept asking him questions and it became this one on one dialogue for twenty minutes. And I thought if all he did was expand his look or his gaze to others, he could have avoided her jumping back in, or at least made it less possible.
Bernie (14:42)
Interesting. just a a sidebar thought popped in the head. If you're doing a presentation, would it be helpful to and you see it in when you're having a speakers on the on on a podium, you know, or on you're having a dialogue back and forth. Is that even an easier thing to manage than when you're doing it as a group of people and then you need a a moderator and then the moderator goes, that's a great question. We'll have to wait for that one.
And over to party X. Is that also a good way to get your s message out?
Karen (15:12)
If you're the moderator.
Bernie (15:14)
Moderator or you or the even like what what what drew my attention is if the person's going back and forth, right, and they spent the last twenty minutes bouncing back you know, watching the tennis t like watching the tennis ball go back and forth, not the intent.
Karen (15:27)
Mm-hmm.
Bernie (15:28)
Could that also be a way to deliver a message and you have someone either in in the crowd as an a co actor?
Karen (15:34)
I see. So potentially, yeah. I mean, hopefully the person is a good enough. They've practiced enough that they realize that this could be a problem. I do think that it can be a an acknowledgement technique as well with somebody to say, let's say it's they're they're asking multiple times. I think sometimes to be able to stop that and just say I mean, stop that. I mean to s to of to say something to the tune of thank you for your interest.
I'm so glad you're passionate about this. I want to make sure that anybody else has an opportunity to ask a question. So that you could also do as the speaker.
Bernie (16:10)
What's the biggest mistake you see people c making when they're when they're having a when leaders or whoever and they're communicating. What's what's the typical mistake they make?
Karen (16:21)
Giving way too much detail. We seem to feel like we have to give it all. It's data dumping on slides. It's it's data dumping verbally without a point. And it's so fascinating to me because I've been doing this most of my life now professionally. And it doesn't matter the gender. It's fascinating to me how many times people feel like they have to keep sharing more information. And I think it comes from
Feeling like you need to prove yourself. It's saying more equates to that. And then the other problem that's connected with this, I see this a lot in proposals or pitch decks where immediately you see the company or the person touting themselves, where it's we do this, we do that, aren't we amazing? As opposed to first thinking about the audience. Here's what we know about you. Here's what our company.
could imagine helping you with based on your client profile. And that is a big miss for most people. And if we just started even a simple presentation, depending upon the format, but most business presentations, starting with, hey, what did y'all come for today? I want to make this as relevant to you as possible. I've got an agenda. Let's hear from three to four people before we launch in. Such a different experience.
Bernie (17:39)
How do you recover from a a faux pas? In other words, you know, you're you're a you're a solopreneur, you go to a talk, and all of a sudden you go tabla rasa. You're a blank slate all of a sudden. Not what you wanted. You you know your name, I think, still, but you know, and what where you are, but you've you've gone blank. Or you've you know, or you realize the the audience is like, my gosh, right? They're they're not interested. How do you recover from something like that?
Karen (18:05)
Yeah. The first thing is to go back to what we already talked about a little bit is to pause. It's a a simple pause to gather your thoughts. The pause does so many beautiful things. It helps us to show that we're in control. It gives our audience a chance to absorb what we said. It helps us to eliminate filler words. It keeps a cadence that's generally more comfortable than when we're rushing through it. So that's one thought.
The other thing that I was gonna say is having notes in front of you. That too often we are not thinking that we can look at our notes, but it's okay to pause, look down at your notes to gather your thoughts.
Bernie (18:43)
So if someone one of the other elements we were kind of looking at was is if someone's asking for let's say a
increase in salary. or they're asking for something and it's not and you mentioned this earlier. Don't feel shy. If you don't ask you won't get. How do you do that without coming across like you're growling or begging?
Karen (19:02)
You first do your prep. You figure out what do you actually want? What are your parameters around that, especially if it's money? What's your floor that you are willing to walk away around? And then making sure that you position it of value to the company. So it could be as simple as I know that we want to improve or expand the marketing department. I'm interested in helping with that.
And I'd love to be able to share a few ways that I could add value. Would you be interested in hearing that? So just starting with something as simple as that. And then saying, here's based on the research that I've done, again, research, the behind the scenes prep, anything that you can show that you have actually prepped for this. Not that you just want more money. Cause I've also been a boss in the past where people were reporting to me and
Sometimes people would come and just say what they wanted. And I'm thinking, well, okay, what is your justification for this? Especially if it was off of a cycle around raises.
Bernie (20:03)
So what can people do incrementally? Because you it's not like there's a light switch in the back of your head, you go and all of a sudden you're brilliant today. It's it's it's obviously a a a growth growth strategy. Some people might be more rapid ascending to it.
What are the kind of things you would suggest for somebody to do on a daily basis to to improve their ability to deliver a message?
Karen (20:25)
First thing that I would do is to first, whenever before you even open your mouth or you're preparing for something, what is the point? Start with what is the point? Because too often, even in general conversation, people are talking around something. And then finally at the end, my point is this. As opposed to thinking in advance. And if you can start training your brain to think, what do I want from this? Or even the simple question.
What is my desired outcome from this conversation or from this call? When we can start thinking about the end in mind, like Stephen Covey talks about, then that can help us. The other thing that is priceless, and most people aren't willing to do it, but it is super easy is to record yourself, even if all you record is your voice. That can help you. And then listen back. That's really important. Listen or watch it back because.
A lot times I hear people go, I recorded myself, but I couldn't bear watching it. And I'm thinking, this is what the whole world is experiencing of you anyway. So wouldn't you rather be in reality to know if you need to change a couple things? So when you start listening, and the the first question when you listen or watch yourself is simply, do I like how I'm coming across? And if not, what would I change?
Bernie (21:41)
There there's some people that already have that gift, you know, being able to chat somebody up. How do you keep the authenticity true? I mean, you you become polished. here's a case in point. We in my last corporate job, we were going through a cycle where people were told, here's a series of questions to ask and so that you can gauge where people are at, right? And and a great idea, whether you're a patient or staff.
And I'm listening to the the manager, you know, go through the series of questions and I'm looking at him going, dude, you sound like you just got abducted by an alien. That ain't you. How how do you keep it authentic so that they don't, you know, get into a script where, well, according to page two, line five, this is what I say next.
Karen (22:23)
Mm-hmm. First, we have to recognize that people don't want to listen to a robot or a presenter version of you. People connect human to human. And I will say that even with the, you know, I used to train speakers and facilitators and such at my corporate job. And that was the hardest thing to get people to shift or not shift, well, it is shift, but to maintain their conversational self like you and I are here, to then when we're up.
on a stage or a platform of some sort. There's something psychological and I think even physiological when we stand up and we're technically on a stage, we feel like we have to perform in some way, shape, or form. Now you could argue, well, it still is a performance. I don't necessarily agree with that if we could get into nuances around it. But the best way to practice this is to keep recording yourself. And it can start with just
Practicing standing up, but have a coach or a friend sitting there or listening to you and just talk to them so that you can you keep the the same connection with the person, but the format changes of seated versus standing. That can be a way to practice it. These things are so nuanced and also it it is it takes a lot of intention. That's what I want to say. Cause I get people asking me all the time, how did you do? I want to be like you and how you sound.
Like this has taken me my entire career of practicing every day and getting feedback, watching myself, having a coach. And I mean, that's what I did in the corporate world for 20 years. So I was having to do it because I wanted to keep my job and keep doing well at this. But a lot of these things can sound daunting to the average human, or we go, do I really want to bother with that? And yet.
It is so worth it. So you don't sound like you're just again a robot. This that's why the recording is so helpful.
Bernie (24:20)
What's your best stage fright story that you can relate to us without giving up a name? And is is is it is it also like where you have to envision everybody sitting in the audience naked, which could also be a shock and awe moment too, if you think about it. But you because you're like, I don't want to see that. I can't unsee it now.
Karen (24:36)
So shock and awe from something that I did how I messed up, or somebody, a client of mine. Either
Bernie (24:42)
Your choice.
Karen (24:44)
one. Okay. Well, I'm immediately thinking about somebody, and this was such an unfortunate situation because executive level woman got up on stage, huge company. Everybody would know it, but I won't say it here. And thousand people in our audience got up there.
Flubbed something and then literally walked off the stage. And it was so awful for her. I didn't witness it, but then she came back to me and she very publicly later said, I realized that day that I need to work on this public speaking skill. So that was the worst of a total walk off.
Bernie (25:20)
Wow, became your poster child.
Karen (25:21)
Yes, exactly. And probably for me, I remember it was more what happened before I
I wore these new pants and I right before I was going out, I they kept fall the hem fell. Like they were clearly not well made. And I used duct tape to put to to hem them. And it worked. But yeah, you know, you do what you have to.
Bernie (25:46)
You know, I can totally understand that.
So what does an elevator pitch actually sound like in twenty twenty-six?
Karen (25:52)
It could sound a few different ways, but I I subscribe to the way Donald Miller teaches it. So if you were to ask me, hey, what do you do, Karen? I might say, you know how often we hold back from sharing our ideas because we're worried about about what other people think? So you you say the you know how something, or you know how and I'll give you an example. Actually, this is a great example that he shares. So imagine being at a dinner party and you meet a
well, you meet somebody and he said you say, What do you do? And he says, I'm a private chef. The next person says, You know how at the end of the day you come home and it's hard to figure out what you want to eat and just the stress of all that. Well, I take that away because I'm a private chef for people just like you. And the difference of those two experiences really leans into the second one, of course, leans into a problem that somebody can identify with.
And when we can solve a problem, so I don't know if it's any different than it has always been, but I do think that people want to know how you can solve a problem, or that's how they can determine if there's somebody that they can either refer to you or that they that you could help them.
Bernie (26:58)
I like that. You got a book out there.
Karen (27:01)
Thank you.
Bernie (27:01)
Your own vo you trust your own voice. Who's the book for? What does it give them? Where do you get it?
Karen (27:08)
Absolutely.
Bernie (27:09)
Is
is it a talking book, audio book, or is it just put your eyes on her?
Karen (27:12)
You can you can get it Amazon or Ingram Spark, or you can get the audiobook version. And it is I wrote it for women, but the concepts are universal. And I wrote a book that I would read. And I say that because I love getting to the point quickly. I love things that are very practical and actionable. So the whole book is a guidebook. You don't even have to read it in any order.
You can grab, so for example, what is executive presence and how does that tangibly map to behaviors? And things like I'm in a conflict, what do I do? Here I give some sentence prompts on what to say. So anything related to communication, it covers negotiation, difficult conversations, how to stop rambling and get to the point is one of my chapters and leadership presence and also how to use your voice and overcome self-doubt.
Bernie (28:02)
What's the one chapter most readers say hits them the hardest, drives the point home the most?
Karen (28:08)
I would say it's the how to stop rambling and get to the point. Because most of
Bernie (28:12)
Sorry.
Karen (28:12)
Well, I will I will give you a tip. Well, it's funny because it's there's more to the chapter, of course, but I will give you the tip on how to do that because I had to do it for myself. I always say I'm a recovering rambler, and so you have to notice first or have the emotional intelligence to notice that you are rambling. And then the key is to stop and use that beautiful tool we've already talked about, which is the pause.
Take the one to two seconds to gather your thoughts. And then the key is to say out loud, my point is this, because it recalibrates the whole conversation. It let's face it, everybody is distracted with other things going on in their heads and their phones. So when you can recalibrate a whole room of people or even one person, then it's very refreshing and it helps you to get back to the point.
Bernie (29:03)
So large corporations like Google and NASA, I would have figured they would have had this all down pat. How what's it like in that space? Are they are they mere mortals too or are they super gods?
Karen (29:14)
There's they're mere mortals. And it's amazing, no matter. I have coached people at all different levels. And it does not matter what level you are, when you are looking at yourself on video before right before we press play, I see it in every person's face. This almost little anxiety of what is this going to be like? But it is it is amazing. And it's it all goes back to, you know, I look at it as.
couple different ways that people need to get feedback or that I offer feedback. One is to think about it from the perspective of what is distracting that's getting in this person's way. So maybe flat face, maybe lots of filler words. The other camp is what would make this person even better? So they're already decent. What would elevate them? So maybe it is more vocal emphasis. Maybe it is
expanded movement on the stage. Maybe it's working on their gestures. So it just depends, but it is amazing how most people are terrified or at least at minimum uncomfortable with public speaking.
Bernie (30:17)
Would you ever suggest using props?
Karen (30:19)
Yes.
Bernie (30:20)
What prop would you use?
Karen (30:21)
Well, it's all what's relevant to your talk for sure. But physical props are amazing when you can bring some now, not overdone. That's also important. But it's things that you can, if you can bring something physical up on stage and might be mindful that everybody can see it. It depends on how if we're talking about a business meeting, obviously almost anything could work. We're talking about a big stage. You want to make sure that it's viewable.
Because that's the worst when half of the audience doesn't know what you're talking about. That's the same reason why I don't recommend in a business meeting or a board meeting, start handing out a deck physical with papers and then starting to talk. Because inevitably half of the room isn't gonna be able to follow you because you're talking before they see what you're talking about.
Bernie (31:07)
So if if folks are listening to this call, listening to this podcast, and they're going, hey, who should be reaching out to you right now? Like what what would be what would be their flag in their head going, I gotta reach out to Karen because I need help? Or my company needs and not even help. It's more like I want to up my game. It doesn't mean you're you totally you just scrape the bottom of the barrel and everybody's looking at you like, you know, what's wrong with you?
as opposed to let's let's improve. What are the what are the triggers?
Karen (31:37)
Yeah, the triggers, there's I would say there's three related to the audiences that I deliver to. So one might be a meeting planner who's looking for something memorable and engaging, and people want more challenge around their communication. The other is thinking about the individual that has high stakes conversations, CEO, C suite. I've got these high stakes conversations. I need to deliver a message to like communicating my vision to the company.
Or it could be I've got a team that has so much conflict, or we want to up level our culture. And that could be kind of all of the above. And so I would say I kind of merged, I said three, but I sort of merged my third into the second one because it's really executives and their teams that might be needing they have more public speaking opportunities, or maybe the the company is getting more media.
attention and people need to be good at interviews or they need to be doing town halls and they're not great speaking in front of a large audience.
Bernie (32:41)
So when you were six years old and you started negotiating for yeah, as your dad sent you out going, t chat up. What was your best deal? What was the best deal you haggled out of somebody? And ha haggled sounds negative. what's the best deal that was a win win for both you and and the seller?
Karen (32:58)
Well, the funny thing is I cannot remember the amount of money that this thing cost, but I do remember that there was this cute little a little doll that I got when I, you know, obviously it was a very much a well, I shouldn't say obviously, but I was very feminine girl that loved dolls. And I was very proud that I had negotiated this purchase. So he took my first offer.
Bernie (33:21)
wow. You charmed him. You charmed him.
Karen (33:23)
Apparently so.
Bernie (33:24)
Karen, I just I'm gonna kind of wrap us up because I want to mention about you wrote a book, Trust Your Own Voice. It's packed with ready to use scripts, negotiation tips, mindset shifts. And you know what? Grab a copy on Amazon, reach out to Karen directly at her website. She has a free guide, three strategies to speak up at meetings, grab it at portal.com. That's k a r e-n.
L-A-O-S dot com forward slash speak dash up. And you know what? If this if this conversation hit home and you're going, I need to improve my my ability to express myself, or maybe you have a pending TEDx talk, you really have some hot topic you want to share, Karen will she'll spin you up, she'll get you ready to go there. All right, and again, find her at KarenLaos.com and tell her a knack 4 business sent to you.
So a big thank you to Paige, Harazin-Masi for making this introduction happen. We really appreciate you. It's always good to find great people to have a chat with. And you know what? reach out to Karen and You can reach us at knack4business.com. That's the word knack, like knock, except other than A, the number four business.com.
Use our chat bot in the bottom right hand corner, you'll see a question mark and you can find out about other episodes that have already been published. And thank you very much.